its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
