She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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