what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
