We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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