Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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