I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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