and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
