Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
