Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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