If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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