That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He has the fingertips of a God
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