I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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