My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
