i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
