would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
