CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
