You made me cry and you don't even care
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
