I don't remember. Are we still dating?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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