Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
