I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
