Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
