So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I need water and some morals
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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