you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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