If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
