You're my little dorito
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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