um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
