Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
