Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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