It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
