Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
