My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
