we're blogging at a bar
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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