I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
