You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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