What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
