Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
