she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
