i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
