On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
