just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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