i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
