gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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