It's like God shit irony all over that family
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
