the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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