Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
