I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
