Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
