After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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