So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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