no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
