I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
