Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize
