I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
