So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
