maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize