I don't think brook has ever known best
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
