Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
