my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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