You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
