You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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