between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
