I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
only if we run a train.
done.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize