First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
