We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I enjoy the company of your penis
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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